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Family & Corrections Network |
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October 10-12, 1993 Quebec City, Quebec, Canada
THE LEGACY OF ABUSE Les sequelles de l'abus Gail Mooney, C.O.I. Linda McLaren et al Il est difficile de resumer l'ensemble de cette discussion en panel. Fondamentalement, la reunion avait pour objet de montrer que le SCC participe activement a divers programmes destines a combattre les abus au moyen de groupes de developpement des aptitudes cognitives visant a changer les attitudes et de therapies de groupe pour apprendre aux participants a faire face a leurs emotions profondes. On a surtout insiste sur deux programmes, l'un a Prince George, l'autre a l'etablissement de William Head. Ce dernier s'adresse aux hommes d'abord, et a leurs familles. Les femmes participent egalement a des psychodrames qui semblent les amener a regarder en face leurs propres emotions et les fait participer a un jeu de roles visant a changer les attitudes. Gail Mooney, qui travaille pres de Winnipeg, a un double role. Elle est a la fois agente de correction et therapeute. Elle participe au travail de groupes de partage et cherche a montrer aux delinquantes des aptitudes dont l'acquisition les aidera a mieux se debrouiller, une fois liberees. Font egalement partie de ces groupes des membres qui ont reussi le programme et qui viennent aider les participantes a faire face a leurs emotions. "ABUSE HURTS PROGRAM": A Program for Incarcerated Adult Women Survivors of Family Violence Gail Mooney, Co-facilitator of program Background: 4 years as Executive Director of local crisis center for battered women Training and experience in crisis intervention, suicide prevention, counseling, group facilitation Also currently involved in delivery of "Anger Management" Program "ABUSE HURTS" A program for incarcerated adult women survivors of family violence WHAT IS IT? A two-part program addressing the issues of family violence as follows: PHASE I A day and one-half long information session designed to: a) raise participant awareness of abuse issues; b) present information about resources available to abuse survivors, both inside and outside of the Institution, and c) encourage survivors to access these resources. PHASE II A confidential support group, meeting twice weekly for about a month to challenge the rules of the dysfunctional family: DON'T TALK/DON'T TRUST/ DON'T FEEL WHO ATTENDS? Adults abused as children Adults abused by their partners in love relationships (Since the programs inception in January, 1990, 182 women have attended awareness sessions - 116 of these women went on to join support groups). WHEN IS THE PROGRAM OFFERED? Quarterly WHY DO WE BELIEVE THE PROGRAM IS IMPORTANT? Domestic violence in the forms of physical, emotional/mental and sexual abuse is a real, current and widespread issue in our society. Such violence causes serious, lasting damage to the victims, their families and their communities. A majority of our residents are disclosing about their experiences with family violence. Many victims go on to perpetrate violence on others. There is hope for survivors and perpetrators of abuse that healing is possible. A period of incarceration can present an opportunity to begin this process, and ultimately to break the cycle of family violence. GOALS OF THE "ABUSE HURTS" PROGRAM To foster hope among resident abuse survivors that healing is possible. To empower survivors to take appropriate steps towards healing. OBJECTIVES OF THE TWO-PART PROGRAM Phase I - THE INFORMATION SESSION Program participants will: share an understanding of the meaning of the word "abuse"; consider some effects of abuse on the lives of children and adults; examine some survival tools with helpful coping behaviors; review resources available to abuse survivors (both inside and outside of the Institution); decide to use or not to use the appropriate, available resource(s). Phase 2 - THE SUPPORT GROUPS Group members will: risk trusting group members and leader; practice positive communications; and experience the acceptance and support of the group. SAFETY Creating and maintaining a safe environment where trust is possible is central to the success of the "ABUSE HURTS" Program. Facilitators can begin to build such a climate by providing a combination of structure and flexibility throughout both phases of the Program. As much as possible choices should continuously be offered to participants. Phase I - THE INFORMATION SESSION This educational experience is open to all Institutional residents, although women interested in joining the SUPPORT GROUP that follows are required to attend Phase I. Here personal sharing is not encouraged, even discreetly discouraged, due to the lack of opportunity to cultivate an environment safe for disclosure. An effort is made to keep the format at Phase I informational and to avoid engaging with participants at a feelings level. Early in the session an explanation of the differences between the objectives of Phase I and Phase II should clarify the rationale behind this method. At the end of the presentation, as a part of the section given over to reviewing resources available to abuse survivors, facilitators will list names of graduates of previous "Abuse Hurts" Support Groups who are now incarcerated and who have volunteered themselves as resources for prospective new Group members. Participants interested in going on to Phase II of the Program are encouraged to seek out these women and question them about their group experience. Following the information session each participant is interviewed privately and given an opportunity to confidentially express interest in belonging to the Support Group to be formed soon. Any concerns she may have can be discussed at this time and plans are made for a follow-up interview where final decisions are made about further participation in either Phase 2, or another appropriate, available resource. SCREENING FOR GROUP Our training as Group facilitators taught us that eight is the "magic number" for our Support Group. With this number in mind we review our list of prospective participants, and go over this with our Program Coordinator and Deputy Superintendent. If possible we get input from Case Managers and floor staff with regard to particular residents' suitability for Group membership. Women serving shorter sentences are given priority, while longer-term residents may be asked if they wish to be put on a list for the next available Program. At this time facilitators may be made aware of possible conflicts between potential Group members. A tentative list of eight names is drawn up and this is shown to the women on the list, who have an opportunity to go forward or withdraw at this time. At last, hopefully we have a Group, and all women who indicated interest but are not on the list are informed and ideally reappointed for next Group or referred to another resource. Phase 2 - THE SUPPORT GROUP In keeping with our efforts to provide safety for Group participants, we organize our first meeting around addressing the importance of trust. Confidentially is discussed and ground rules are formally adopted. (See the "SUPPORT GROUP CONTRACT"). Again a delicate balance, control and flexibility by Group leaders is required in order for Group members to begin to establish the desirable climate. In the beginning a higher degree of involvement by leaders in directing group process will be helpful until the members indicate their readiness and willingness to take on more of the control. An important on-going responsibility Group Leaders must retain is the confronting of abusive or inappropriate (e.g. controlling) behavior within Group. Failure to take firm charge of this kind of situation can engender fear among members, which can permanently destroy the potential for trust-building. Time in our Support Group meetings is usually divided between presentation of topics for discussion (these topics are chosen by Group members and usually include issues such as: Anger, Self-Esteem, Relationships, Guilt, Forgiveness, etc.) and exercises (drawing, writing, musical, etc.) The issue of personal sharing is dealt with early in the first meeting and throughout meetings safeguards are put into place to encourage appropriate, safe disclosure. Group members often comment that one of their biggest fears coming to Group meetings was that they would be expected to share more than they felt ready to. The development and honoring of personal boundaries is one of the key elements of our "ABUSE HURTS" Support Group. The establishment of rituals: "CHECKING IN" - each member's opportunity to share how she's doing at the beginning of the meeting; The circle at the end of each evening where members often spontaneously take each others hands for the Closing Prayer; and "CHECKING OUT" - making sure everyone is OK before we separate. These make us an "Us" and contribute toward the feeling of belonging and caring that's inevitable when everything goes as we hope. And in the likely event that a Group member loses control and breaks down, we remember what she said she would want from her Group is this happened, in one of our earlier exercises. It always amazed me how everyone remembers what she said we could do. If her choice was that no one in Group would touch her, but rather that someone would offer her the giant teddy bear that attends all out meetings, we all respect her wishes. As much as our own individual needs may have inspired us to act otherwise, we sit quietly by until it feels right to go on. At these times a successful Group will grow even closer. THE REWARDS At the conclusion of our seven or eight evening meetings, which have taken us through only one short month, we prepare to disband our Support Group. This is an important part of the process, and involves closure, a structured good bye. There is an exercise where the drawing of an empty room is passed to each member to fill in something she wished to give her neighbor. After each women's room has received something from each of her Group members, she shows the whole Group the completed picture. This exercise is a consistent testimony to how well we all listened and remembered the dreams and the disappointments that were shared in our meetings. And the jokes. Evaluations are completed and plans for Graduation are made. There will be pictures and a cake, and guests. Some of the women in Group will receive a Graduation Certificate for the first time in their lives, and when we gather for ceremony there will probably be tears. Probably I'll cry. For this is as rewarding as it gets for me. Later I'll look over the Group members evaluations; we read comments like: "I was physically and emotionally abused as a child. I found the group very helpful as I have a child and I do not want the "cycle" to continue." "It felt good to share my experience with others who had gone through similar experiences." "I've come to understand that it wasn't my fault that I was abused." "I realize and I think others realize we are not alone, some of us share the same things inside." "This program was one of the first times that I ever talked about my abuse. By group members participating, it made me participate." "I liked best that I wasn't made to share with the group because I didn't trust the group." "Most of the girls in the group that I talked to before were kind of shy to talk even person-to-person, now I'm surprised we're altogether in this group talking. I love it!" "I felt safe." "I really liked attending the meetings. I know I haven't talked too much (hardly ever). I was afraid I'd cry, I still feel that it isn't all right to cry. Maybe in time, I'll feel it's all right to cry, until then I'll remain the same." "I feel the program has helped me a lot to begin to deal with my past. I really enjoyed the time I spent with the group. I believe that this group has saved my life." "I have a better outlook on family." "I needed help to get through what I was feeling. All my life I was taught not to talk, not to feel, not to trust. This group has opened up doors in my life." "The abuse issues are only touched upon, which only confuses and upsets without getting into how to help yourself overcome the abuse effects." "I've learned to say 'no' - the group has made it possible for me to keep on saying 'no'!" "I feel being able to discuss a problem helps relive so much built-up pressure and inner anger." "The openness and honesty in our group was incredible. There was never any question of trust." "The bond that was formed between all of us was totally unexpected in a setting where there is so much mistrust. It was really nice to find out that even under these circumstances we can help one another face problems and know that the trust was returned." As these remarks evidence, individual responses to a shared experience vary greatly. We who share leadership of this Program have also reacted to each Group encounter differently. At times, after a difficult meeting when an angry Group member acted out repeatedly, and we felt disappointed and inadequate about out handling of the situation, we temporarily lost sight of the benefits of belonging to a peer support group. But when we changed hats, and went out on floors in our security roles, we were reminded by the sincere warmth of the greeting from "Abuse Hurts" Grads still with us. In summary, it's my personal belief that a Program such as this one has great potential, both for success and for total failure, given the "right" or "wrong" circumstances. But looking back over almost four years of leading groups, I can truthfully say that most of the efforts paid off enormously, because of the special strengths and real beauty of many of the women who joined our Program. Before ending this report I'd like also to acknowledge the gratitude I feel for the constant support and nurturing I have received from the Administration and Staff at the Portage Correctional Institution. The work environment I have enjoyed there is one that illustrates the best of what we strive to achieve in our Groups. I know from experience that this does not happen by accident, but takes the continued efforts of well-intentioned people who realize the importance of trust and caring. Thanks Wayne, Bev and Sandra! "ABUSE HURTS" SUPPORT GROUP CLOSING PRAYER May this group be a place where each of us feels safe, valued, and cared for; May the knowledge that we share the pain of abuse draw us closer together, and be a comfort to each one here; May we each try to understand and support one another as we work through this program together; May the strength of this group surround us all, and go with each one of us when we leave. "ABUSE HURTS" SUPPORT GROUP CONTRACT As a member of the group I make the following commitments: I promise that I will: -attend all meetings to the best of my ability -be on time for meetings -come from breaks on time -participte when I feel comfortable -"pass" when I don't feel comnfortable -listen when others are speaking -give others a chance to speak -stay on topic -keep confidential what is said or done at group meetings, or by group members between meetings -refrain from abusive behavior for at least the duration of my membership in group |
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