Children of Prisoners Library

 www.fcnetwork.org            For Caregivers: CPL 204  

   

   Tips for Caregivers

- from Caregivers

 

  

By Ann Adalist-Estrin

PDF version

 

·      Talk about feelings with children

“You look sad. Are you missing Daddy?” or, “When you get that angry at little things I wonder if you are also angry at your Mom for going to jail?” or, “I wish your dad could have seen you play ball tonight and I bet you do too.”

 

·      Be as honest with children as possible

“Mommy won’t be coming home for a very long time. It will be 4 more birthdays (or 2 more summer vacations).”

 

·      Remember to keep your feelings separate from each child’s

“We feel different things about this, I am angry at your dad and don’t really want to see him but I want you to go because he’s your Dad and you love him.”
 

·      Set up family discussion times

Tuesday night is the family “meeting.” Or Wednesday night is “Let’s wait for dad’s call tonight and talk about how we are all doing with this.” Or Saturday morning’s breakfast is a “prison and jail talk is off limits” time—a moment of relief to those who need a break from the subject.

 

·      Talk about the family’s choice to tell others or keep it a secret from certain people.

Let children know why the choice is necessary. Provide plenty of opportunity to talk about it at home.

 

·      Encourage children to write or talk to their parents whenever possible.

For ideas on this, see CPL 106, Jail and Prison Procedures and CPL 107, Communication Tips.

 

·      Help children to start a picture or story that their parent adds onto, then the child adds on, and so on and so on by mailing it back and forth.

 

·      Read with your children.

Encourage your library to include books and pamphlets about children of prisoners in its collection.

 

·       Get support and help for the children and yourself…through friends, clergy, or counselors.

 

 

About the Children of Prisoners Library (CPL)
Pamphlets may be downloaded without charge from the Family and Corrections Network (FCN) web site, www.fcnetwork.org. Duplication is permitted and encouraged, so long as the materials are not altered or sold. Sorry, FCN is not budgeted to mail free copies. Send comments to The Children of Prisoners Library at FCN, 32 Oak Grove Road, Palmyra, VA 22963, 434/589-3036, 434/589-6520 Fax, fcn@fcnetwork.org. Copyright Family and Corrections Network, 2003.

In Appreciation
The Children of Prisoners Library is supported by a grant from the Robert Wood Johnston Foundation with additional support from the Catholic Campaign for Human Development, the Jack DeLoss Taylor Charitable Trust and the Heidtke Foundation. We are also grateful to our sponsoring organizations: Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc.-Southern Region, Children and Family Networks, Hour Children, The National  Practitioners Network for Fathers and Families and The Osborne Association. Special thanks to the Osborne Association for permission to revise and publish material from the three volume set of pamphlets, How Can I Help?

The Children of Prisoners Library was written by Ann Adalist-Estrin, who adapted material from How Can I Help and authored other materials in the Children of Prisoners Library.  It was edited and published by Jim Mustin.