Family & Corrections Network
The
Second North American Conference on
Fathers Behind Bars and on the Street
November 6-8, 2002 St. Louis, MO
Banquet Address: Transcript of remarks
Katherine Martin, Director Missouri Department of Social Services
There is no doubt in my mind that there isn’t a single person in this room who hasn’t wished that living life could be like writing on a chalkboard. We’ve all wished that we could erase some bad thing that’s happened, some bad circumstances that occurred. We all wish that we could erase some decision that we made and correct it. Erase some choice that we made and do it different. But life isn’t like that. We’ve all learned that. Life isn’t like that and it isn’t going to be. As the Director of the Missouri Department of Social Services, I often look at programs, I look at our organizational structure, I look at the names of things, and only slightly tongue-in-cheek I wish I could rename the Department of Social Services to the Department of Hope. Because in my mind that is what we are all about. Whether they are children that are brought to us and we work with the family they came from or we talk they have to go to a new set of circumstances, it is about providing hope for that child. Whether it’s juveniles that are adjudicated to the Department of Social Services, we can’t erase what’s happened to them, but we can talk about treatment and services that will help them learn how, learn how, the abuses, the stresses, the decisions they have made in their lives and provide hope for the future. We talk about working with panic mom’s, we talk about doing skills assessments and job training, and hopefully providing opportunities that give them hope for a better future for themselves and for their children. We work with [the elderly] and the disabled and we talk about providing opportunities for them to think about to enhance the independence that they have for their lives. Owning their lives, and having some hope for the way it will be in the future.
And that is the thing I like the most about this Father’s for Life Program. It is all about hope. A man can take and make a [new start] and stay the past in the past. It’s behind me. And I can look to the future. And we are all about being a part of that pivotal point and providing the hope that that future can be better than the past.
We have got a wonderful collaboration going in the state of Missouri. There is no question about it. There is nice guy, I’m a nice guy, I plead the nice guy. But they are not doing it because they are nice guys. It’s because it is unbelievable. It provides so much hope for the future. It’s immeasurable. It’s irrefutable. It’s indisputable. It is hope for the future. We have the Missouri Department of Corrections, the Missouri Department of Social Services, the Missouri Department of Public Education, the University of Missouri Kansas City, the University of Missouri Columbia, parents as teachers, parents link, mediation, the march program is what we do for mediation. We have the United Methodist Church. I am a member. I am especially proud to point out the United Methodist Church provided transportation for this program. It is collaboration for hope. And we are extremely proud of it.
Just to give you a sense of some of the ideas of what we are doing here, Parent Link, through the University of Missouri Columbia, apparently we do have a representative here, and I hope you will visit with them. They are providing parenting corners in visiting areas and lobbies. These are towers and kiosks that display parent education information, they provide links to problem solving support and resources. They have libraries in two facilities, two corrections facilities. They have books, video tapes, audio tapes, related to parenting and parental relationships. We have the collaboration between the Department of Corrections and the Division of Child Support Enforcement and Social Services and the University of Missouri Kansas City is designing and implementing state-of-the-art safe, developmentally appropriate environment for enhanced child visitation. We have group parent education classes. Gary mentioned the Long Distance Dads. Twelve-week group parent education series based on communications, relationships with other parents, anger management, role modeling. We have the proud parent pre-sessions that try to prepare them for that. It talks about a father’s life and responsibilities. It talks about communicating with the child’s mother. It talks about bonding with his child. We have group and individual sessions with parents and teachers. We have the national director here today at this program. And I hope you’ll have a chance to visit with her.
Parents as teacher educators who are working with these incarcerated fathers ways to play with their children, places to go and things to do with your child. Disciplining your child. Helping your child learn to read. How children grow and develop. And not only that, but then they are [learning] that with the emphasis parents as teachers in the home back home. Other children in the home. The custodial parent of the children at home and making that work for a better unification later on. We have mediation efforts. Mediation achievement results for children. Prior to release there’s a mediation effort between the incarcerated father and the other parent. They develop a parenting plan to address issues that will include a father’s parenting time with his child.
The Parents Fair Share in the Division of Child Support Enforcement. A lot of people think that child support enforcement is about locating a father and taking his money. Not is Missouri. We talk about mediation. We talk about working out visitation issues. We talk about working with fathers and the Parents Fair Share is a great example of working with fathers to give them an opportunity to hold their heads high, and with dignity be able to approach supporting the families. And in this entire project we are talking about that kind of dignity, for a man to be able to provide for his family and for him to have the confidence it takes to parent his children. And that’s what we do in terms of providing hope for that future.
We have relationship enrichment skills training for couples, where both parents need privacy for the trained marriage enrichment leader. We have transportation for children to visit their fathers, provided by the United Methodist Churches of Missouri. They pick up the parents, they pick up the children and provide an opportunity for those family visits. To unify that family. To bring them together to create that bond to continue then after the incarceration. We have evaluation by the University of Missouri Kansas City. An independent evaluation that will help us then be able to track the development implementation of this program and to be able to talk about these intervention components. Analyze them, and be able to assess the impact so that we go roll this puppy out.
I have a story for you. It’s short, but I think it’s a good example of what this is all about. We had a dad in one of the prison facilities, who had never seen his child. Only through photographs, only through pictures. Never felt that soft baby. Never heard that coo, that giggle. Never saw that smile go across its face nor that sweet baby smell. Until the United Methodist Church provided transportation to bring momma and that baby to see that father on Father’s Day. And you can imagine the smile on his face. You can imagine the message that was conveyed through what happened that day. And he did take the opportunity to write the Division of Child Support Enforcement and he said, I hope. I hope we can receive your help for a few more months and that I can be united with my family for good. Thank you for caring.
That’s the kind of hope I’m talking about. That’s the kind of hope we are providing here. That’s the kind of hope that you all are part of and we can grow from this. There is a saying that today is my life but only when there will be a tomorrow can I hope. We are about providing that hope for tomorrow and I thank all of the folks that are collaborating with us on this and I thank all of you for wanting to grow this further.
Thank you.